The voice of a young woman is setting the story and as she speaks we see a rural authentic African market start to unravel, we also have the ability to see the people around the market gathering themselves in extremely large amounts with the energy of working ants, and the volume of a wave of bulls.
There’s a woman, an African light – skinned black, mixed race woman, carrying her child on the back of her wearing a multicoloured African dashiki alongside a multicoloured head wrap to match. Her baby is wrapped around a similar looking material.
Reema: I remember my mum telling me a story about when I was a small child back in East Africa, this story made me have a whole different insight on how I perceived the world.
My mum had said that she was at a local market with me tied on her back with a soft clothing material, when she had suddenly come across another disabled person who was a lot older than me. That person had no legs or feet and she was using both her hands and her upper body to navigate around the market. When others around her, non – disabled people had seen her do so they had started to ridicule her, kick her, kick mud on her and just generally disrespect her entire existence as a whole.
My mum being the one having to observe this with me on her back it had brought constant tears to her eyes. So much so that she began to picture me as that woman and that’s when she made the active decision to then ensure that I wasn’t ever in that horrible position, I wasn’t going to be ridiculed because of my disability, she didn’t want that for me and I appreciate my mum for that moment in particular, I appreciate her for that life – changing decision. And now here I am, living my best life in England alongside her.
We then pan out of that memory to more current times, we see a sudden image of Reema in a night club, with her friends alongside her, Ibrahim aged twenty – six, a black brown skinned man with a shaped up beard and a long face, with striking features, who’s of a Caribbean background dressed in all denim and Sabriyah, a twenty – four year old brown – skinned South – Asian woman with long black hair and an ethereal shaped face, helping Reema, a twenty – five year old black mixed race disabled woman with a round apple shaped face, a nose ring on her nose, with cute features is sitting comfortably in her black electric wheelchair, with half braided and half curly hair in her pursuit to annihilate the man in front of her physically and verbally with her electric wheelchair, the man in front has appeared to upset her in someway. Despite Reema being the only one knowing what this man has done, Reema’s friends continue to spur her on in having to have a go at him regardless of knowing what he’s done exactly.
Reema: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Ibrahim: You tell him babes!
Sabriyah: Yeah, how can you be carrying drinks with you without looking at where you’re going?!…now look, you’ve ruined her top you cunt!
The man appears to have said ‘if anything I’ve made it better’ as soon as Reema catches on to what the man has said, everything and everyone has now gone into slow motion mode and as this happens she immediately sees red and there’s an instant urge to take it up a notch. Reema decides to increase the speed of her wheelchair and constantly and vigorously run over the mans feet over and over again until he starts bleeding.
Reema (shouts and continues to run the man’s foot over while making a violent yet adamant face): ‘You little wanker!!”
The man in front appears to have lashed out because of this and decides to slap Reema because of the infuriating pain he’s in. All of a sudden, there’s a slow motion uproar, and the dispute between Reema and the man creates an instant gravitational pull, and the crowd in that night club have joined in on the fuckery. Some punching the man, due to the fact that he’s hit a woman a ‘vulnerable’ disabled woman at that and some just simply just recording what’s going on in order to put it on their instagram story for the views and responses. The bouncer comes running in like a bull in a china shop out of no where and chucks Reema and her friends out with no remorse like he’s taking out trash that doesn’t belong.
We see Reema, in her usual state, laying on her bed with her dark purple Skull Candy headphones on, listening to Garage Skank by her favourite Grime artist Kano.
Reema: Can you believe the little shit chucked me out?…along with my friends too of course.
Reema stares forward with intent like there’s an invisible camera in front and says the following…
I suppose you’re wondering how I met them. Well let me just say I met them both in secondary school EastWay Community School, to be precise, which
was a complete doss house but with these two by my side constantly, I’ve always felt at ease.
Ibrahim: Sabriyah! Come in here you bitch, the teacher said we have to meet this new girl and show her around,
Sabriyah: Alright, pipe down, I’m coming.
Reema try’s to steady herself in this moment, a lot of commotion was being placed in front of her. So what she decided to do was an age old trick pretending that she is dribbling on her self and groaning leading them to believe that she is “more disabled” than she is, as she does this her eyes are wavering as she uses this moment to figure these guys out when they think she can’t hear or speak.
(Beat)
Ibrahim and Sabriyah talk amongst themselves in utter confusion.
Ibrahim: Mate, I don’t think she can speak you know, do you think she can even hear us?
Sabriyah: Babes, I don’t want to say it but I think she’s having us on.
Ibrahim: Don’t be such an air head, why would she do that – she’s disabled.
A 30 year old black women in a hijab slowly creeps in like an unexpected fart, she’s a teacher, Mrs Zainab; she’s slightly concerned with what Reema’s doing in front of her because she knows that dribling is not part of Reema’s disability. She comes towards Reema asking…
Mrs Zainab: Reema, Reema, Reema!!! ARE YOU OK???
Reema: OH FUCK ME, that’s too loud!
Sabriyah turns to Ibrahim instantly.
Sabriyah(to Ibrahim): See – told you she was having us on.
Sabriyah and Ibrahim break out into silent laughter amongst themselves.
Ibrahim(to Sabriyah): I knew I liked her!
Abrupt unusual flashback – back near the club area, Lit Avenue.
Sabriyah: Well that’s our night ruined
Ibrahim: Agreed!
Reema: The night’s not over just yet my friends!
Ibrahim & Sabriyah ( look at eachother and both say): What’d you mean?
Reema touches her nose with her index finger to indicate ‘mum’s the word”
Reema: If you’d like to follow me lads!
Reema leads Ibrahim and Sabriyah towards a dark, damp and dingy alleyway.
Reema care-freely zooms off in her electric wheelchair. Meanwhile, Ibrahim and Sabriyah are exasperated, they can barely keep up.
Reema: Aw come on you lot! Hurry the fuck up. The night is young and so are weeee….
Reema backs up to the farthest edge of the alleyway, Ibrahim and Sabriyah are catching up; Reema is now facing them and reaching into the crotch of her trousers, she does this easily because of the ridiculously shiny, easy access disability velcro trousers…
Ibrahim(to Sabriyah): Is she fucking wanking in front of us?!
Sabriyah: She wouldn’t do that…. (beat) would she?!
Ibrahim: Well Sabz, this is Reema we’re talking about!
Sabriyah: Fair point!
Reema: Will you two shut the fuck up and help me fish this out my minge!
Ibrahim: Alright! what did your last sex slaves die of?!
Sabriyah: Wait a minute, can we not skip the fact that she’s got something up there, and it actually fits!
Reema playfully slaps Sabriyah across the arm.
Reema drives forward away from the wall and reclines her wheelchair as far back as possible and is making an attempt to spread and lift her legs.
Reema: Ibrahim, come here and hold my fucking legs up!!
Ibrahim: What the fuck do you mean? – hold your legs up — how?! What do you want me to do?
Reema: Ibrahim, Why do I always have to spell things out for you! Like I’m at the fucking Gynea office, pretend you are a doctor, let’s play doctors shall we?! — we need easy access to my minge and its gems!
Ibrahim lifts Reema’s legs right over her head, and Sabriyah is on her knees reaching into Reema’s vaginal abyss.
Reema: OUCH!! Stop pulling on my clit, it’s attached you know!
Sabriyah: Fuck sorry, I thought it was cling film. OH SHIT, you got crumbs…babe! I think it burst!!
Ibrahim: She’s saving it for later.
They all laugh uncontrollably!
Sabriyah: What the fuck have you got up there anyway?! I can’t believe I’m travelling through your minge like Dora-the- fucking- explorer, and I don’t even know what I’m looking for!
Reema: Well DORA! If you must know, it was meant to be a surprise! But seen as you are both so fucking inpatient – it’s SPACE COOKIES! And they’ve just burst in my v-v-v-vvvortex, so lets hurry up and get them out before I end up in another fucking dimension!!!
Sabriyah finally manages to pull out the soggy but shiny cling filmed package trying not to drop any crumbs. She looks at the parcel and throws it to Ibrahim…
Sabriyah: Eewwww, gross, it’s wet!!!
Ibrahim: Why the fuck are you throwing it to me for? I don’t want it, it’s got jizz!
Sabriyah: Thought you loved jizz?!
Reema (mumbles & laughs) Don’t we all?!
Right! Can you two stop it?! It’s gonna end up on the floor at this rate!
Sabriyah throws the package at ibrahim, Ibrahim throws it back, Salbriyah throws it back to him…like pass the parcel they vehemently throw the package until it hits the floor.
Everyone: Aw shit!!!
Reema: Well, that’s that! Well fucking done you two!
Ibrahim: To be fair it was Sabz’s fault for throwing it at me in the first place!
Sabriyah: I panicked! It was instinctual and sort accidental!
Ibrahim: Sort of accidental was it? …and how was it instinctual or in fact accidental if you meant to throw at me? Do you even know what the words mean?
Sabriyah: Uh excuse you? I do…I do know what it means!
Ibrahim: Tell us then!
Sabriyah and Ibrahim continue to have a ping pong styled dispute amongst themselves, it’s not until they suddenly see Reema on her knees devouring the left over space cookie crumbs on the floor that they gradually stop to turn around and observe their friend on all fours for the first time licking her fingers like a dog on heat, they’re reluctant on what to do or say at this point.
Reema: What?! Have you not heard of the five second rule?
Ibrahim and Sabriyah look at each other with sheer disgust for their friend.
Sabriyah (to Reema): Yeah, that’s odd babe, even for you!
Ibrahim: At least I can say I’ve seen it all now.
Sabriyah: Yeah, you and me both mate!
Ibrahim & Sabriyah both laugh
Ibrahim & Sabriyah blend into the background and so does their laughter, their laughter slows down and eventually starts to sound morbid, they both become foggy, like featureless creatures almost, and the invisible camera zooms in on Reema yet again whilst she’s on all fours.
Reema: This isn’t my first disgusting rodeo! But they don’t know that…they’ll never let me live it down, that’s for sure.
The scene melts down like a soggy biscuit filled with tea, and we’re now back into Reema’s one of many childhood memories.
Reema on a hoist, cocooned in a bright green sling, both legs succumbed into a rigid straight position, both legs have casts on them, she’s in the air, pooing relentlessly whilst in the air, with a face so desperate it almost looks like she’s about to cry. We can see a carer, Lucy, thirty – five years of age, running around ramped, gloves on both hands with her arms out forward like she’s playing volleyball with an invisible ball in front, like a headless chicken on steroids, and an extremely worried mum, on the side, that’s slightly finding the situation hilarious because of this middle aged carer running around like the floor’s on fire.
Reema’s Mum, Aisha, a forty six year old (at the time), a black mix race woman, has her hand over her mouth in shock.
Reema: Mother! I shit you not. I feel like shit is coming out again!
(Beat)
Feels like I should be shouting “fire in the hole!”
Aisha: Reema be serious for once!
Reema: Mum, come on! How can I be? Look at the situation I’m in (whispers) and look at the state of her, she looks like she’s worried she might catch the shits.
Aisha: You do have a point there…
Lucy: Yeah, I’d just like you both to know that I’m still here! I can in fact hear you.
Reema: Well, maybe if you were better at catching my shit as much as you’re good at hearing, maybe poo stains wouldn’t be all over my mum’s carpet!
Aisha: Reema!!
Lucy looks agitated by this remark. She takes her gloves off!
Lucy: I Quit!
Within that split second as Lucy tries to turn around and leave, a disrespectful amount of poo drops from Reema’s arse and onto Lucy’s brand new highlighted streaked hair do.
Reema (laughs uncontrollably): You were saying?
Reema’s laughter continuously echoes, near the end the laughter begins to sound like a tedious ringing noise. Memory fades into pitch black nothingness.
We’re brought back into current time, Reema has her Skull Candy dark purple headphones to the side of her now, her white door’s firmly shut, she’s scrolling down a dating website, “Plenty of Hotties ” in her lilac painted room, and Reema’s feeling a bit bewildered by how many weirdos there are on this app.
Reema: Plenty of Hotties do me a favour, more like Plenty of Weirdos.
She scrolls through all of these pictures of these apparently “plenty of hot men” but she can’t see the appeal in any of them. But she keeps scrolling nonetheless because of boredom.
Reema: There’s no flavours at all on this website, perhaps I should taste the rainbow and play for the other team eh?
Her phone then pops up with a message out of the blue, it’s from Sabriyah. The text from Sabriyah reads: “Need to talk to you about something…but please don’t tell Ibrahim I’ve told you.”
Seeing this Reema calls Sabriyah as quickly as possible which she never usually does unless it’s an emergency and this felt like one.
Reema: Yeah, what’s up, talk to me.
Sabriyah: You got my text then?
Reema: Yes Sabz, that’s why I called you, you doughnut.
Sabriyah: It’s just that you don’t normally text back sometimes or call for that matter.
Reema: Well, what can I say it’s a new day. Can you just hurry up and tell me and stop letting whatever is linger on like an old expired fart because you’re giving me anxi-
Sabriyah: I think Ibrahim is gay!
Reema: ….. Wha- come again?!
Sabriyah: Ok I don’t think, I know!
Reema: How’d you know?
Sabriyah: I just do ok! I’ve picked up on clues!
Reema: Nice to know Dora The Explorer is making a formidable appearance again, or should I say Inspector Columbo?!
Sabriyah: Ha ha! Very funny Reemz!
Reema: I know I’m hilarious! Listen babes, not being funny but Ibrahim prays five times a day, which practically makes him God’s best friend!
Sabriyah: Ok and? That doesn’t mean he can’t be gay!
Reema: Ok well, say he is, you know…
Sabriyah: GAY?! You can say it Reema you won’t catch it you know.
Reema: Yeah, I know, I was going to say it you just got there before me that’s all.
Sabriyah: Is it now?
Reema: Yeah it is, actually…(scoffs) …look I’m not homophonic or anything.
Sabriyah: Never said you was.